Falling asleep on their own

The app keeps telling me to try and put the baby to sleep awake in her crib instead of letting her fall asleep while nursing or being rocked. I know that's the goal, but would love if the app can provide some guidance as to how to actually do that without the baby crying her head off when putting her down in the bassinet. Anyone have any tips?


  • Candice
    Candice Member

    I don't have any tips, I'm there with you. There's been a couple times my little one would put himself to sleep but not often. I have been trying to atleast lay him down in the crib than soothe him while he's laying there to get him to fall asleep instead of rocking. This seems to be working but still wouldn't be considered self soothing.

  • Erica
    Erica Member

    Try putting baby in the crib when she looks very sleepy, but not quite asleep.

  • With our son, we started by bottle feeding so he could be put down right after burping without too much jostling and wait until he was aaalmost asleep before laying him down. White noise was key to keep a consistent noise level and to drown out anything else.

    Once he could do that, we just waited more time between feeding and putting him down.

    By about 6 months, he was able to put himself to sleep and stay asleep throughout the night. Good luck!

    The main thing that made getting him to bed still sleepy was being able to bottle feed him so it was basically the very last thing to take care of before laying him down.

  • Adiandrea
    Adiandrea Member

    We've tried this, but the second she realized she's alone in the bassinet, she cried hysterically.

  • This was the hardest for us…. But after 3 weeks of practice bed time goes pretty well. It all depends on your level of comfort and I think the less cry the longer it takes but still worth it in the long run. We lay down awake and comfort but try to avoid picking him up at any cost. I could tell a different in his cries between a fuss and full cry. With fussing I’d try to stick it out not picking him up. In the beginning it was still 30-45 minutes to get him to sleep but after 2-3 weeks it was 10-15 minutes and now it’s a couple minutes and he’s asleep and all I do is put his pacifier back if it calls out. That’s usually all he needs now but that took a while and I cried as well.

  • We did the takingcarababies class but she puts advice on her blog and Instagram. Mostly it’s about routine, reading, bath, pjs, bottle in a dark room. Then when she’s almost asleep I lay her in her crib and hold her arms and gently bounce the mattress until she’s asleep. She wakes up but doesn’t cry just **** her fingers to go back to sleep. She’s been sleeping 10 hrs since 2 months old.

  • Mamamary
    Mamamary Member

    How old is your baby?

    ive found it’s just as much a learning curve for mama than it is for baby. I am so quick to run to every noise and cry, but baby sometimes needs a few minutes of crying to fall asleep.

    set a timer for 3 minute increments so that you’re not accidentally overstimulating your baby while they try to fall asleep.

  • PDC
    PDC Member

    I haven't been able do this either. Night time is the only time I have to hold her and cuddle without distractions. 😪 I wait until my baby girl falls asleep, and I have a feeling that when she's not breastfeeding at night anymore I'm in for a world of trouble!

  • DNoelleC
    DNoelleC Member
    edited July 29

    depending on her age you might need to let her cry it out a little. I had mine sleeping in the bassinet until he was about four months. I would have to put him in while he’s already sleeping otherwise he would cry. At four months he went through “sleep regression” and I was having to wake up every hour. I ended up moving him to his crib and trying the “gentle” cry it out method of ferberizing. It worked exceptionally well. Basically you wait till the baby is sleepy, not asleep, and then put them in the crib/bassinet then let them cry for set increments before you go to them. The first increment is three minutes, then five, then ten repeating. When you check on them, you just go in and try to comfort them for a minute or so. It is important to not pick the baby up though. This is a lot harder on mommy than the baby and it is a lot easier if you have a camera monitor because you can see them and know if they are really crying or just fussing a little bit. But again it is dependent on age. You can start at 4 months if they are going through sleep regression but typically they say babies cannot self-soothe until about five months. At any rate I tried this at 4 months and it has worked wonders. It was immediately effective too. I hope this helps!

  • MAK12
    MAK12 Member

    I wasn’t able to put my baby down drowsy, but mostly because I got into the habit of letting him fall asleep on my breast. Initially, he wouldn’t cry when put down awake, after a feed. I just thought he wasn’t sleeping the amount of hours the books say he’s supposed to sleep so I thought it was best to “help” him sleep.

    My husband and I quickly found ourselves cosleeping with our baby during naps and early morning feeds. We had read a couple books “12 hours sleep by 12 weeks” and “Babywise,” neither worked for us. I thought about renting a Snoo but my baby was already rolling onto his belly and was already “too old” for the Snoo.

    We ended up hiring a sleep coach for our baby when he was about to turn 1. We started a routine for him with a wake up time, two scheduled naps, and a set bedtime, based on my son’s age. Sleep training involved letting him cry it out for 15 min and checking in and soothing him for a couple minutes and repeating until he fell asleep. Yes, there were tears and cries of frustration on his end and more tears and anxiety on my end. In only 3 nights, he started sleeping a solid 9-11 hours and independently falling asleep. His sleep efficiency significantly improved and he no longer cries when put down.

    I recommend hiring a sleep coach if you need someone to guide you and support you through the process. Otherwise, find a program that works with your parenting style. Have a set routine for your baby that optimizes their wake windows.

  • The Taking Cara Babies class was really helpful for us with this pretty early on. She talks you through how your daytime routines help you nighttime routines, and trying to consistently have eat, awake time, sleep patterns throughout the day with the key being awake time after each feeding. Same goes for bedtime, our routine is feed her then pjs/story (she’s only 8 weeks old now but can’t hurt!), a little cuddle time and then put into her bassinet hopefully sleepy but still awake. I was in the habbit of feeding her to sleep at first but then I realized that was just confusing her more when she woke up not on me anymore.

    The class also helps you with “minimum intervention” steps where you don’t immediately pick baby up when crying—not crying it out as ours is still really too young for that—but trying to soothe her in her bassinet before resorting to holding her. Starts with the sound machine, then putting your hand on her chest, gently rocking her side to side with your hand, then binky if they take one. Admittedly nothing seems to have that big of an impact on her until the binky step for us, but she’s gotten really good at putting herself to sleep most nights and going back to sleep easily after middle of the night feeds. I’d suggest checking out the Taking Cara Babies Instagram and blog and see if you think it’d help you. I finally caved and bought the “Will I Ever Sleep Again” newborn class around 4 weeks old and am so glad I did. As much as her tips help you, her reassurance that you’re doing a good job and to keep trying a consistent approach rather than changing it up after a few bad nights helped me as a mom a lot. It’s so easy to question yourself immediately but babies are babies: individual, inconsistent, and constantly developing/changing. Just hearing “you’re not the only one” and “keep up the good work” can go a long way for us sleep-deprived new mommas!

  • Vivi
    Vivi Member

    Basically drowsy and awake in crib is BS. If you really want the baby to learn. You have to let them crying for 5 min. They rock them so next time they learn will try themselves first. Believe or not crying is very tiresome they would prefer not to.

    but I still rock my baby to sleep. Because they are teething lots of times going through a lot pain. I ‘d rather hold them.

  • When you put her in the crib to learn to self soothe, do you give them a pacifier? If not, At what point do you give them it when they are put to bed in the crib?

  • My 5 month old is inconsolable right before bed. I can’t seem to even calm her to get her drowsy. Do I just go for the Ferber method anyway? She’s also 2% in weight and I am too worried that she’ll be starving overnight. She currently eats 2-3 times overnight still.

  • Mel_01
    Mel_01 Member

    @Gennas I was having the same issue with my 5mos old…progressively getting more and more angry/fussy at bedtime. I paid for the huckleberry sweet spots app which helped him nap so much better (tells you their wake windows and went to put down to sleep) and now he’s so much easier at bedtime. It turned out he was just completely exhausted by bedtime. Getting better naptimes in also helped me stay more regimented with nursing (in case weight gain is a concern for you) I also started giving a 4oz bottle of formula before bed 2 months ago and that’s been helpful too.